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What's Up Weddings

Yea, We’re on a First-Name Basis…

May 24, 2012 09:08PM ● By Anonymous

I’ve not been bossy, but as a Type A personality, it’s my nature to feel relief in control and organization. So I’ve done what every planning book encourages and gotten everything in writing, but I somehow managed to take everything one step further and get everyone’s first name. And I don’t mean sending address-them-by-their-first-name emails to confirm contracts, I mean keep-their-number-in-my-cell-phone and keep in touch regularly first name basis. And perhaps that's totally normally when it comes to vendors, but this is not limited to vendors.

I just noticed it this week. Awkward?

This is how that discovery went down.

As I’ve mentioned before, the groomsmen are going to be wearing Nantucket Red Pants, straight from Murray’s Toggery Shop. (Apparently that’s what makes them the real deal. Or so I’m told.) So I’d emailed the shop about the ordering-for-a-wedding process and was responded to by a woman named Jane. There are a couple different variations of these salmon-colored gems, so our emails started to get a little bit confusing. Naturally, I called and asked for Jane.  (By the way, she and everyone at MTS have been amazing.) I explained the situation following up on our emails, asked her for her thoughts on the decision and how she suggests we go about it. There are two types of pants we are debating between, so I asked her to go ahead and send both my way so Mr. Right could try them on and figure out which ones he liked.Normal, right? So I explained the situation to my fiancé and it went something like this:

Me: So, I talked to Jane today and she is just going to send both pairs of the pants so you can try them on and we’ll go from there. 

Mr. Right: I want to get the pants from Murray’s Toggery Shop.

Me: We will. So anyway, Jane said that most weddings….

Mr. Right: WHO is Jane?

Me: The woman I’ve been working with at Murrary’s Toggery Shop! Will you pay attention? Shoot, I forgot to tell her that our shipping address is different from our billing address. Calls from the contacts in my phone: Hi Jane! Yea, it’s Amy... Hey, that shipping address is…..Yep. Thanks Jane! Have a great weekend!

Mr. Right: First-name basis, huh? And you just had that number in your phone? You really can't just order anything online like a normal person, can you?

Now, I have to admit that the second we’ve hired a vendor, I have immediately begun calling that person by their first name, and checking in, often. Not (hopefully) annoying bridezilla often, but “Oh yea, what do you think of this?” twice a month-ish, often. We did a lot of research on our vendors, and I know that they are all super good at what they do, so whenever I have a (reoccurring) thought about something in their field, I run it by them. I guess I think of them as planners of their own section. (Photographer=in charge of all things photo related. Caterer=planning and coordinating all the food, etc.) And, really, aren’t they? I adore them all and I would be totally lost if it weren’t for their expertise.

But it's gone well beyond vendors. The Toggery Shop, the woman on Ebay from whom we bought our bridesmaids dresses, the two women on Etsy from whom I've ordered my veil and the groomsmen's ties. I now have unnecessary contacts at Zappos and And of course there are all the local vendors we've chosen.

But I didn’t realize until this week what a huge help that’s been (for me). Angie, Rachel, Jane, Korie... everyone who has a hand in our wedding day has been added to my contact list under their name, not their service.

It’s been instrumental because it gives me a direct point of contact, which is so much easier to keep organized. I don’t have to worry about miscommunications, lost messages, or thinking one thing that I discussed with one person, and another thing being the reality. And I don’t have to identify myself on the phone by order number or wedding date and location, I say my name, ask for whom I’m looking to talk to and the communication can begin. I’m not suggesting that everyone remembers me. I realize that I am one person in a portfolio of people our vendors are working with, but I'm excited.

And not only does it give me a sort of comfort that things will go well if we’re all open and the communication is flowing, but I think it’s saved my sanity. “Our wedding photographer” is a mouthful compared to “Korie.” Plus, I genuinely value their opinion and I think it's better in many cases to ask what they think, rather than just telling them what I want.

It becomes personal. I can much more easily resist the urge to send Korie an example of every (let's get serious, I do still send some) shot I find on Pinterest that I want to include (that would be a lot. Thanks for the anxiety, Pinterest) because I feel like I know her now, and she knows us and I'm confident that we'll get every photo we need. That feeling is priceless. And if I have to be awkwardly nonchalant to get it, consider me awkward and nonchalant. (Or, ridiculous. I call it "friendly." The WORLD is my small town.) Either way, I think it works and I highly recommend it.

Besides, if I am prohibited by formality (er, "social norms"), it’s going to be a rough couple of weeks when we’re getting all the final ducks in a row.


I don't believe I'm alone in this. Thoughts?