Jun 07, 2012 09:01PM
● By Anonymous
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I wasn’t worried in the beginning, but now, I’m about 12 months deep and holy smokes, is it wearing on me.
By this point in the process, most of the people I’ve watched get married were, well, getting married. Now I, on the other hand, have another four months to go. Don’t get me wrong: I am enjoying being engaged, and now that things are coming along—I’ve crossed off an exponential number of items of my to-do list in the last two weeks—the planning and preparing is getting even more fun.
However, I have noticed that I have a serious case of what can only be described as “wedding brain.”
I can’t remember anything in real life (not to be confused with wedding planning life.) I think I’m a pretty smart girl, and by now I can tell you which of the 12 resorts in St. Lucia have and do not have hammocks—I can even tell you the names of the concierge at many of them—right off the top of my head, but sometimes, when my fiancé and I are sitting on the couch watching TV, I literally blink, look around, and then say to him, “Wait. Did I just say something?” Which is usually met with a blank stare.
Sometimes I’ll be thinking so hard about so many things that I’m actually not sure if I’ve made sounds. Or spoken. Other times I’ll think, “I need to remember to tell him this…” And then I’ll get confused, unsure as to whether I told him just then, or not.
Sometimes it'll go something like this:
Me: “Oh by the way, we got the room block reserved at The Historic Inns.”
Fiancé: “Oh that’s great! One more check off the list.”
[Ten seconds elapse.]
Me: “Hey! Good news! I almost forgot to tell you. I reserved the rooms at the Historic Inns.”
Fiancé: Blank stare.
The worst is when I make him guess. After I’ve already told him.
Me: “So [insert some kind of wedding progress here] happened today!”
[One hour and more conversation goes by.]
Me: “You’ll never guess what I got to check off the to-do list today!”
Fiancé: Guesses successfully.
Me: (Crushed.) “Dang it! Again?”
Fiancé: Scrunches face, tilts head, nods sympathetically.
I think you get the picture. The ugly, naked truth of the picture.
I was hoping to be able to turn this post into a “Five Ways to Avoid Wedding Brain” kind of thing, but if I was able to do that, I probably wouldn’t be wearing the same thing I wore yesterday. And it wasn't a matter of sloppiness/rushing. I put a lot of care into getting ready. Sigh.
The only suggestion I’ve got is to write things down. My purse is full of sticky notes, and it seems to be the only thing that helps me. I also have started making an effort to "be" in my moments. When I'm talking I have been trying to concentrate on what I'm saying, making eye contact, and thinking about the conversation at hand and not what color linens are the most "romantic."
I'm sure things will return to normal during/after the honeymoon, and I'm looking forward to that. But in the meantime, has anyone else experienced this? Anything I can do to improve? Tools, suggestions, tricks, vitamins? I’m open to suggestions.
Just don’t be insulted if I ask you twice.